I'm going to open my post
with a bright and sunny "Hello"
I went out to check the mail this morning
and this lovely handmade card
from Marilyn of Pink Paper Cottage
https://pinkpapercottage.blogspot.com/
was waiting to greet my day
and I was blessed by her thoughtfulness.
Thank you, sweet friend :)
Saturday morning I got up
and got dressed, ready to attend
a funeral of an old friend . . .
well, I got in the car
and just couldn't go.
There are things that I'm just
not ready for . . .
I tell others to not rush themselves'
so I decided to take my own advice.
Actually it's advice that I've gotten
from attending Grief Share meetings.
Since I was already in the car
headed for town I decided to go
thrifting at Goodwill.
That's where I found the pretty
pink pickle dish and forks.
I also found all these candle holders
and the wooden tray.
This is the tray after cleaning
and applying a couple coats of tung oil.
Another candle.
And this battery candle/lantern.
Last but not least . . .
this pretty spring wreath.
It has been a very long time
since I just when roaming
through Goodwill.
It was good . . .
it gave me some new things for the
house, without breaking the bank :)
It was good just to do something different
and get out of the house.
I don't know about you . . .
but I seem to hibernate.
I blame it on winter roads
and on Covid, but truely
I think it's a battle with loneliness.
I want to have people around,
but I don't get out and socialize.
It's hard to explain . . . because I
don't understand the feelings I have
and if I don't understand them,
how can I explain them.
I guess that's what they call
a catch 22, not even sure about that.
Well, now that you all know how
mixed up I am, I'll say so long
and end my post.
If I didn't have the Lord
I wouldn't have any hope at all.
Isn't it wonderful that even when
we are at our weakest points
His strength holds us up
and
His Love and Light gives us hope.
~~~❄❅❄~~~
God bless you all.
Connie :)
I think you were wise not to go to the funeral is you weren't ready!!
ReplyDeleteSome great finds at the thrift store.
Favorite picture is the snowy fence.
Thanks for the email! :)
Oh Connie, I understand perfectly! I want friends but I don't want to actually go out and socialize! I want to do things but I don't want to do things! I don't know how this came to be but I guess I've always been that way somewhat. Too many past hurts and trust issues don't help!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it everybody else's Goodwill has such awesome finds and ours is so over-priced and mostly clothing. *pouting*
I pray you have a blessed week and don't worry about getting back into the swing of things until you are ready!
Grace & Peace,
Pam
It really is a hard time but especially since you've suffered such a terrible loss. I'm glad you went thrifting and found some pretty things for your home. That always lifts our spirits. I love the pink glass dish and the wooden tray. You can use it to make vignettes. Sending you bunches of hugs tonight, Diane
ReplyDeleteHello too. 😊
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with being an introvert. That's what I call that.
Happy day.
Wonderful finds from Goodwill. It was probably a wise decision not to attend the funeral, too soon and too painful for you. I'm sure the family will understand and you can say goodbye to your old friend in your heart and mind. Pretty snow scenes, we are in hot sunny summer weather here. Take care.
ReplyDeleteHello Connie, You put much of what I'm feeling lately into words. I have a funeral to attend on Thursday that will be difficult plus I just lost my Dad a month ago. I'm recovering from the flu (maybe Covid since I lost my sense of taste but every single testing place in my area is out of tests and I didn't feel like driving almost an hour for one so....) I want to be around people too but at the same time there is so much drama that it sucks the life out of me.... does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteHow wise to listen to your heart and avoid the pain that the funeral would cause. It takes a long time to heal.
ReplyDeleteYou found lovely treasures at the thrift store. Tomorrow I'll go and look for some treasures of my own.
What a lovely card from your friend. Oh Connie, my heart hurts for you. I can't imagine. But I pray for you daily. You fill your days with beauty though and you found some treasures. I never seem to find such things, but maybe I don't know "how" to look.
ReplyDeleteDennis is in Spokane this week. He's working at the office during the day and eating dinner with our friends in the evening. It's hard for us both. He says he feels like he's home there. Knows where things are, etc. Here, we have family, but no one is seeing each other much because of covid right now. We don't know where anything is. The city has changed greatly in the 30 years we've been gone. We both feel like we're living in limbo. No place to call home. Even this house. I feel like I'm a visitor here. It's set up almost identically to Mom's next door. I feel like I'm sleeping in her bedroom!!! I know it's not what you're going through in the least. But I don't know what the answer is for us either. I'm trusting in God to give both of us, and you, peace in our lives with what He wants us to do.
Much love and many blessings,
Betsy
Hello Connie. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Probably good for you to get out, even with the cold and snow, but as others have said, it was wise to listen to your inner self and avoid the funeral. You found some lovely things at GW. I know you will have fun "playing" with them. Tuck up all cozy and stay well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sensible decision Connie and totally understandable. You need time and just take as long as you feel is right for you. Healing is different for everyone.
ReplyDeleteYou found some wonderful things at the Goodwill store. I don't blame you for not going to the funeral. Some things are just too difficult to do and each of us knows our own limits.
ReplyDeleteI understand the hibernating. I also use covid and winter weather as an excuse to not go anywhere. If it wasn't for work I would probably never leave the house. I'm not a very social person outside of work so I have no reason to leave. I want to be social but on the other hand I want to be alone.
Hi CONNIE,
ReplyDeleteYou've done a great post - lots of interesting scenes and I like to hear about what you are doing and your crafts. Stay well and safe there this Winter. Best Wishes. KEV.
This is most likely a well shared emotion Connie....many suffer from loneliness and it can be overwhelming. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Blogging can maybe help you feel as if you have a wealth of friends, as I am sure your readers feel this way. You certainly found some beautiful treasures at Goodwill. May you find comfort and joy on better days ahead. I so enjoyed your post today!
ReplyDeleteListen to yourself. Do not push yourself, beyond what you know, you are not ready for.
ReplyDeleteAnd beyond that, just let me send you many, many, many gentle hugs....
Also, I hope talking about it, here on your blog, was helpful in some way.
More gentle hugs....
Connie- You are not mixed up at all. I feel the same way with John's health being what it is. It is day by day and while I miss being social like I used to be, I also avoid it. Sometimes it is easier to deal with grief and be by yourself. I know you have had a hard time in these past few months. I keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteOn another note- what fun finds at GW. I have a "no buy" thing going on right now. I have so much stuff that I feel I need to unload some before I bring more in. lol
Have a wodnerful Tuesday- xo Diana
I loved how you used the phrase catch 22; I am sure some days are lonely, but Spring will come and the Lord will help you! I think you made a good choice going to Goodwill and roaming and getting outside.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Roxy
Some days are just more difficult than others Connie. Grief is unpredictable and it takes time and courage to learn to live it it. I am thinking of you and sending you love xx
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you listened to your own advice. That's not always easy.
ReplyDeleteYour snow photos are so pretty!
Listening to yourself is a good idea. God guides you as you trust Him. I'm glad you spent some time at the Goodwill shop and found some pretty things for your home. Hugs,
ReplyDeleteI think it's perfectly normal for you to feel like you do. You are hurting. You just don't have enough energy yet to socialize with other people. But, wow, look how many of us here on your blog love and care about you. You are blessed and you are a blessing. It is so unbelievable to me at times when I realize how our Lord really does watch over us and care for us. How He uses other people as His angels. God bless you, Connie.
ReplyDeleteConnie, I am glad that you listened to your own advice and I am glad that you didn't just go back in the house but got out and did some fun shopping. You sure have a way with your fun finds.
ReplyDeleteYes I do not know how I would cope at times without the Lord. I too am a hibernator, I do think it has gotten worse since the pandemic, but I find myself getting anxious at times to be with people. I do fight through it to do some things like church. I guess we need to just listen to our bodies and lean on the Lord when we do have to go about our way!
Connie you are wise to pace yourself with things your doing. Not wise to put yourself through something that may take you back a few paces. I think everyone shares in that weird loniless feeling. Covid has us all dealing with crazy emotions. I always say a trip thrifting is the perfect therapy! Love your finds, these are the things in your home that makes your heart happy. Be safe friend. Lisa @ Sweet Tea N' Salty Air
ReplyDeleteI think most of us are having a very hard time right now with isolation from winter and Covid. Add grief on top of it, and it's no wonder you're feeling lonely. I totally understand why you couldn't go to the funeral. It took me a long time after my son died to be able to go to a funeral again. About five years ago, a long-time family friend (an elderly man) passed away and I would've really liked to pay my respects to his family, but his wake was at the same place that Phil's was. There was no way I could go.
ReplyDeleteCould you have a friend over for tea? Or dinner? Or meet up at a coffee shop?
I haven't been in Goodwill in ages...unfortunately, it used to be a really good one, with the store being pretty clean and lots of "good stuff" to choose from. Nowadays, the store smells so bad (they pump some kind of horrible chemical fragrance through vented dispensers near the ceiling) that I can't stand to be in there. I start coughing and get a headache. And the fragrance permeates not only their clothing (which I never buy anymore, as I can't get the smell out no matter what I do), but even their home goods, too. It's really a shame.
I love your candlesticks and how you displayed them on the wooden board. That is a beautiful centerpiece!
Sending you lots of love and a big hug.
Hi Connie. That is a pretty card from your sweet blogging friend! It is always nice to receive something like that in the mail. You have every reason to have mixed up feelings with missing your sweet Steve and this mixed up Covid world we are trying to cope with. Jesus is our rock! Hang in there! Hugs, Nancy.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right Connie! It's a Catch 22 for sure... we want to do, but don't want to do.. we want to go "somewhere" but don't know where... we want to be with people, but we don't want to be with people. It's a weird feeling and I'm having it too. I really have to push myself to go "out" but once I'm out, then I'm Ok, and feel like exploring a little, but still am not in the mood to drive anywhere far yet. It's like I need to stay in my own little comfort zone. I'm thankful to even HAVE a comfort zone! .. and it's nice and cozy too. And so is yours. I want to do some rearranging and maybe redecorating come spring. That's a good idea to go to a nice thrift store (some aren't so nice...) and maybe find a few new/used things. I haven't done that for a long while.. or gone to a normal store with new stuff to decorate things up. Thank you for the little shout out at the beginning.. I saw that card and thought.. what a nice card and such a pretty blue! And then realized it was mine! how funny! I like you, feel lonely some days.. but I'm not sure what for.. well I know what for.. wish my husband was here.... but I want a little people contact and yet I don't. I know it will pass, or pass and then come back, and make a circle, as it has in these last 4 months, and I know those feelings will come again. You are in my thoughts and prayers.... hugs.....Marilyn
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you decided to look around in Goodwill. Do something to take your mind off other things. Plus you found some really pretty things. That always cheers me up too. You have such a cozy little home. One can sure get lonely though. Just think, we're over half way through January. I mean Spring is not too far away. My shoulder pain is so bad, Dan said to me tonight, I don't think you will be able to have a garden this year. Couldn't bear to hear that! :) You take care.
ReplyDeleteLearning to live a new life by yourself is one of the hardest things many of us ever face. Be gentle on yourself. Things will happen when the time is right for them to happen. Hugz Mxx
ReplyDeleteHello sweet friend. I wish I could be there to give you a warm, gentle hug. Since I can't, consider yourself warmly, gently hugged virtually. :) You are not "mixed up." You are normal. The loss of a spouse is unlike any other kind of loss, because of the physical, emotional and spiritual bonding we experience with our partner. God says in His word: "The two shall become one." That's wonderful, and beautiful. And it's incredibly heartbreaking and traumatic when death separates us because we suddenly feel incomplete. And that is what is so hard to adjust to. How do we feel complete again? The only way is by letting Jesus complete us. Which I KNOW you understand and are doing. However, that doesn't eliminate the grieving. It's been 14 years since Jim journeyed home to the Lord, and I miss him more now than ever. Yesterday I heard a song that reminded me of him and I broke down. I don't tell you this to make this about me. I tell you this to let you know that grieving is a journey. A process. And even after many years there may be something that triggers grief. I think the holidays are especially difficult, and winter is for sure! The lack of sunshine and the gloominess of winter feeds grief. I love you Connie. You are a woman of God and I admire so much how you are moving forward so beautifully. Share what you are going through! Share, because it truly helps others. Even if you think it doesn't. I think of you and Marilyn all the time. And you are in my prayers. Thank you for being a testimony to the faithfulness of our Savior. Hugs, Nancy P.S. Love all your thrifty finds. That tray is amazing! I love the way you have it styled with the candle holders. Great pink pickle dish and forks! The wreath, the candle and the lantern? Yes, please! :D
ReplyDeleteHi Connie,
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post with so much honesty and sincerity. For whatever it’s worth, I had open heart surgery in 2010. Within the first year of my recovery, I met with my cardiologist, and he flat out told me not to go to any funerals or similar services for friends or family. I don’t think many people realize how stressful those kinds of events can be. Good on you for not going. Another thing … If I put myself in your shoes, the cozy home cottage is so homey and comfortable I wouldn’t want to get out at all. :-) Lastly, your posts are powerful testimony. God bless you and best regards from your western neighbor.
John
Sending a big hug from Harvest Lane Cottage.
ReplyDeleteGod is close to the broken hearted. Lean into him dear.
Laura
Hello. Thank you for visiting my little blog. I am happy to be your newest follower, and am looking forward to visiting here often.
ReplyDeleteYes, Connie. Jesus is our Shepherd and His Face shines on us. Yay.
ReplyDeleteYou made that tray look so nice!
Connie, I love your heart. Glad you took care of yourself and listened to what you really needed. Medicine for the soul. Nice refresh for those candle sticks and the tray. Enjoy your new finds!
ReplyDelete