Keep Smiling

Keep Smiling

Friday, May 8, 2020

I'm Still Alive,

If anyone is interested . . .
I'm still alive . . .
although; I don't necessarily
always feel that way.

My world is never going to have
the joy it was once so used too.

For 44 years I was always kissed good-night.
Now, I would give all I have for another
one of his loving kisses.

I would love even to hearing the words,
"What's for dinner?"  

We were silly to some people because
we told each other 
"I Love You"
many times during each day.
We felt it often and we said it often.

Silly or not, I'm glad we did!

God joined us and made us one . . .
each year growing closer
and more in love.

It's impossible to explain the pain.
Some people try to comfort 
and say things like "I understand"
No they don't . . . 
not unless they have gone thought it.

All that I can say is 
don't waste a minute . . .
Life is short . . . if you love someone
be sure they know it.

I know that my Steve knew it,
just like I know how deep his love 
was for me.

Love is the greatest gift of all . . .
that's what makes being apart hurt so much.

We all  have heard the saying . . .
It's better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

It's very true 
but I must add that the lost
part of it hurts so much . . .
the deeper the love, the deeper the pain.

So, sweet blogging sisters
make sweet memories
and never, never, never
forget to say.
I Love You.

You cannot say it too often. 

God bless you all.

Your blogging sister,


  1. Your photos are wonderful...Thank you for sharing this darling post...God bless you,give strength and peace to you.Sending hugs.

  2. Such a painful time for you Connie. Thanks for sharing your lovely photos with us. Those photos will be treasures to enjoy as you heal from this intense grief, the pain will gradually lessen to bearable.

  3. Hi Connie- Thinking of You all the time and looking forward to each of your posts- lovely photos of You and Steve- such a wonderful loving couple. Best Wishes. KEV. (Sydney- Australia).

  4. I am so sorry. 😢 My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you. 🙏 May you feel the Lords tender care as you grieve. I follow another blogger who lost her husband 3 years ago. I mention it in case you would like to have someone to talk to who will understand. She also loves the Lord. Hugs to you, dear sister...

  5. please know that you are not alone. God will comfort you in your sorrow and carry you through this most difficult time. Be safe and stay well. Peace be with you♥

  6. Sweet Connie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I have been blessed with a partner like your husband. I can't imagine how life is for you without your Steve. I hope you can find some peace and comfort in your memories. Your pictures are just wonderful. Hugs.

  7. You and your Steve were such an inspiration with your tender relationship which showed even to people who only knew you via your blog. I'm so sorry you have had to go through the pain of losing him and becoming a widow. At my age I have a number of friends who have lost their husbands and they struggle with loneliness. I am reminded always to cherish the time I have with my dear husband.

  8. Thank you for you words, Connie. And may God bless you.

  9. Those are beautiful photos and words celebrating your love and now your loss. My hubby died just before our 45th wedding anniversary so it looks like we were married as long as you two. The heart break of a long happy marriage ending is like no other loss. Be well my friend and send me an email if you would like to share a bit. Terra

  10. Bless you Connie. You had a wonderful man to share your life with. Tony and I tell each other ' I love you' many times each day too. If he rings when I am not around he sings me a message.. always the same message 'I just called to say I love you'.

    1. I love that your husband does that. Good marriages are a true blessing.

  11. I love the photos you have shared with us! What sweet memories you have. No words can comfort you right now I know. just know that you are well loved by many here and in all of our prayers. Time won't heal the pain but hopefully it will ease it just a little bit... and I know your Steve will come to you in your dreams.. many times... I made a little journal for when my Eric came to me in my dreams, so I could remember them well.. as sometimes they are very fleeting. God Bless you in every way. Hugs.. Marilyn

  12. Oh my dear Connie. I've been so worried about you. Every night Dennis asks me if I've heard from you because you have been in our prayers so much. Although I can't even pretend to understand how life is for you right now, I do love and care for you as my sister in Christ. He loves you even more than Steve did, (and still does.). What a beautiful post you've written today. Your marriage was a wonderful one and I'm glad you both always knew how much the other one loved you. We try to do that too. I think we were both blessed with wonderful husbands which was a true gift from the Lord.
    Blessings, love and hugs,

  13. There are no words Connie. All I can say is that you are loved by so many people. It's hard to care for someone in a virtual sense, but i know that many of us would want to help lift the sorrow from your shoulders. I pray for you. x

  14. These photos are wonderful. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain. All I have to offer are loving thoughs and virtual hugs.

  15. Wonderful words and pictures. God bless you.

  16. Dear Connie ~ My heart aches for you at this time. It is all so raw and fresh for you. You are so right about people not really knowing what you are going through unless they've gone through it themselves. Even though, they do give love and encouragement to us. It is hard, it is lonely, life's not the same, some of the joy has been zapped, I know because I've been where you are. God called my husband home 7 1/2 years ago and I miss him every single day. I'm here to say that the raw grief subsides, you learn to live through each day, and God is our strength to carry us through. You will have joy, you will be filled with peace.

    All of you who still have your loved one with you, do as Connie suggests, let them know you love them. Tell them how much you appreciate them and all that they do. Also, let the petty irritations go, they aren't important, loving each other is important. Enjoy each and every moment you have together. We had 43 years and I have lots of memories, and my love has even grown stronger for him since he's been gone.

    Love, hugs and prayers for you dear Connie ~ May you feel God's comforting love and peace flowing through and surrounding you each and every day. ~ FlowerLady

  17. Your pictures are so sweet, how blessed you have been with a great love... and I can see you returned that love.

  18. Thinking of you dearest need not say more.....remembering you in prayer...I am heartbroken for your loss...sending you a warm hug!

  19. I am so thankful for the wonderful marriage that we have and we tell each other several times a day that they are loved. We also let our children and grandchildren know that they are loved as often as possible. I am so sorry for your loss Connie. Take care.

  20. My God comfort you in such a sad sad time.
    I feel so bad for you but happy that you had such a wonderful man in your life for all those years.
    Ken and I have that special bond too and I can't imagine what it will be like if he dies before me.

  21. YES ! Connie we ARE INTERESTED that you are still alive. This is one of the greatest pains that a person can know, and I know that it's hardest RIGHT NOW. I sobbed aloud so many times, and thought I would die from the change in my daily world. Yes, God is with me, and that's a priceless comfort, but my husband isn't , and that's undeniable. It's not going to get easier very quickly, but you can find a new joy, and a special thankfulness for the time that you had.
    I had to go to work to support myself for the first time. It was scary, but truly it was a gift from God to keep my mind occupied while my heart healed. I hope that you can find something too.

  22. Precious photos; precious memories. Precious to the Lord are the tears of his saints. He said so. I treasure each of your posts, Connie, but especially today's words from your grieving heart. As a woman, it is hard for me to be so far away and not be able to "do" for you. All I can do is assure you of my thoughts and prayers, and trust the Lord to bring around you others who will do for you. God's peace and love to you, dear one.

  23. I had tears in my eyes reading your post. The pictures were wonderful...thanking you for sharing. Sending you virtual hugs, smiles and prayers. Be patient with yourself as you work towards building your new normal and let yourself grieve.

  24. Connie, I'm so sorry. It was easy to see what a special relationship you and Steve had. You just look like sweethearts. I love those old pictures. What an adorable couple you two were. Wish there was something I could do. Glad you enjoy gardening. It's May and time to plant so maybe that will help by keeping you busy, plus you have such a pretty yard to work in. Of course, it won't be the same, I know. Love you Connie.

  25. I am so, so sorry for your pain. I teared up while reading this. You are right - no one can understand unless they have been through the same thing. I remember when my son passed away, one of my coworkers said, "I know how you feel; I lost my brother x-number of years ago." I told him how dare he try to compare the loss of his brother to me losing a child. He immediately apologized. And yes, maybe I was angry at the time, but holy cow, I had just lost my son and my pain was still very raw.

    I think about you all the time and pray for God to be with you.

    Much love and big hugs.

  26. Dear Connie it is always so nice to read your blog, although you are full of pain from the loss of your beloved hubby. All your readers send their love and support from all over the world, a worldwide virtual group hug, for you and all of us. Many thanks for sharing the photos of your younger days, so beautiful.
    Jenny from New Zealand

  27. My heart goes out to you! Take care of yourself as much as you can. I hope you're able to get outside and garden some and do things that will help you in the months ahead. It's hard! Sending you lots of sweet hugs, Diane

  28. My heart aches for you. It was so clear through your blog what a beautiful marriage you and Steve had. Treasure those memories and thank you for letting us know how you are doing. ((hugs))

  29. Connie - this post is a great testament to the love you had for each other. I'm glad you got 44 years of sharing that love.
    I enjoyed every one of these photos. You are right, its important to tell those we love how we feel.

  30. Big Hugs to you my friend, my hubby and I do the same thing, people tell us that they can genuinely tell we love each other very much. I can't understand what you are going through, pray that God grants you peace, healing and strength for each new day!

  31. Your post was wonderful and I took in every word.
    Tom and I have been married for 56 years and he is now terminally ill, we are not sure how long he has as it is Lung disease and is slowly progressing.
    Like you say, people say they understand but they don't.
    We have ups and downs, some days positive and other when we are mess but we are trying to make the most of it.
    I think I truly know how you feel.
    Love and hugs.

  32. I thought about you yesterday when I spotted my sweet colorful garland hanging. I knew you weren't blogging, but I wondered how you were doing. I took a chance this morning to see if you had posted.

    My heart goes out to you - what a wonderful life you and Steve had together.

  33. Connie- I have been thinking about writing to you all day today. I thought about you first thing this morning. You know that my heart aches for your pain. I wish I could give you a big hug and just comfort you that way...or listen to you tell stories of 'what was'. I will say that you were lucky to have a man that loved you that much and that you loved him back accordingly. Those love stories don't always happen..and when they do they are magical. God bless you, my friend, as you walk this new, unknown path. i know you are strong and I know you can do this..I also know it will not be an easy journey. Much love to you- Diana

  34. "Amen" Thanks for sharing your photos. Hugs from Nancy

  35. Oh Connie, I am so very sorry. May God give you comfort and strength to get through the days ahead.

  36. Dear Connie,
    My heart hurts for you. Such a difficult, impossible time for you. You have wonderful memories of a wonderful love, which makes the loss even more intense. With God's moment by moment grace and help, you will get through this, although you will always miss your sweet Steve. I wish I could sit with you and listen to you talk about him, and give you tea and chocolate and comfort you in person. Love to you, Lorrie

  37. These photos are priceless. I love your wedding picture and the trucker one too! What is there to say? I am just so very sorry, Connie.

  38. Thank you for reminding us of what's really important. I will pray for you.

  39. Wish that you didn't have to go through this heart ache.
    Praying for you to feel the comfort and love that Heavenly Father has for you.

    (We tell each other every day, and multiple times a day, that we love each other.)


  40. Dear Connie, I have been praying for you. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and your name comes into my mind. I then ask God to comfort you and give you His peace. The peace that passes all understanding. Today I wondered about you and took a chance that perhaps you had posted a blog. I'm glad you did. It was so touching to see your photos, and heartbreaking to read your words. I do know how you feel, as I have been where you are. We feel like we'll never feel joy again, however, it time you will. It won't be the same. It never will be the same. It will be a different kind of joy. Nevertheless, God is a God of joy and He will lead you to it. Love and hugs, Nancy

  41. Thinking of you, Connie and sending you prayers for peace. I watched my mom after she lost my dad and it was so very hard. There was such a huge hole. He was literally her other half and the love of her life. It sounds as if that was your love story, as well, so much like theirs. Hugs.

  42. Dear Connie, thank you for checking in and letting us know how you are doing, because we do care and are always interested in you, our sweet blogging sister. I am so sorry for the grief and the pain that has taken over your life right now. Thank you for sharing these wonderful photos and opening your heart. I'll do my best to take your advice. God bless you and keep you.

  43. Hugs to you sweet friend, I am so sorry. My prayers will continue for you that God will comforter you and hold you in His arms.

  44. God bless you, Connie...

    All the best Jan

  45. Connie, You have such a kind heart- I can only say that Steve must have been an awesome guy. I am praying for you.
    I hope it is a comfort to you to know you have so many of us that care about you.
    xo Lisa S

  46. I'm so sorry Connie, I can feel the heartache in your words. I hope you know that God loves you and wants you to be happy.

  47. Dear Connie, just want you to know that I am thinking/praying about you. You are not forgotten.
    Keep up the good fight.

  48. Hi Connie. I have cried for your loss. I know that Steve was the love of your life and you were his. Wish I could hug you today. I was thinking of you this morning and had to write to let you know. God be with you my sweet friend. Love you, xoxo, Susie

  49. Dear Connie, I am do very sorry for your loss. I know there's a piece of your heart missing, one of the worst experiences of life. Hopeing that each day your sweet memories can sooth the pain. Even after all you endured you still have words of wisdom for us your readers . May God sooth your pain. Please don't refrain from blogging you are such an inspiration and friend to all of us.

  50. Oh Connie... It is a long time since I visited your blog, and today I arrive and find this news... I am so, so sorry. I can only imagine how you are feeling but I thank God for your faith in Him which must bring you comfort. I had no idea you were going through this - I'd have visited you ages ago if I had known. I am shedding a tear for you now, and praying for you. God bless you, sister.

    Shoshi xx

  51. Dear Connie , I am so , so sorry to hear this . You're in my thoughts and my prayers . hugs Debbie xx

  52. This was such a beautifully shared post Connie, as I read tears filled my heart for you and for the lifetime of loving memories you have in your heart. I can't' even imagine the pain you are reeling with, and trying to pick up the pieces and find your way amidst the pain. I think of you often and pray for the Lord to sustain, heal, comfort, guide and be there with His presence. Much love to you dear friend!